booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
