Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

(661): View more from California

Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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(702): View more from Nevada

It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

(775): View more from Nevada

Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

(702): View more from Nevada

God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I love tequila.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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(618): View more from Illinois

She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....

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(317): View more from Indiana

It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.

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