we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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