there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this will be a night to untag.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
