Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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