TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
