don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize