I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
