Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
