508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
