You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
