The beer is more important than you right now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize