No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Someone shattered a urinal.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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