Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize