Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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