Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
