is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
