Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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