Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
