i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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