i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
