Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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