Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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(361): View more from Texas

I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

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(613): View more from Ontario

There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(773): View more from Illinois

It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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(912): View more from Georgia

She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.

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(256): View more from Alabama

The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.

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(702): View more from Nevada

If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money

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