I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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