I'm drive I can fine osifer
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
