woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
