Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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