Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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