I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize