so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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