note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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