Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
