I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
