My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she told me i tasted like america
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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