All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
