eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
