i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize