he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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