We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
