They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
