im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
