I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
