he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I did not marry a roomba.
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