I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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