ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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