you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
