He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
