haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
