forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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