so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
