I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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