Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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