haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
