I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
