Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
