through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
