ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I supernannyed him into submission
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
