He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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