I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
