chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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